Cool Twitter/Facebook Updates

Post and see what happens!

• Memories make us who we are. Dreams make us who we will become.
• The awkward moment when you post a funny Facebook status, and that one person ruins it by saying something serious.
• Some people should use glue stick for lip balm.
• If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you’ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
• Relax, you’re not paranoid at all. Everyone is talking about you.
• That moment when you finish an awesome movie and you have to face the reality of your boring life.
• Once upon a time I smashed my face into my keyboard and accidentally wrote the 5th Twilight book.
• Why does my phone’s keyboard have a .com button but my computer doesn’t?
• That awkward moment when you’re left alone with someone you just met.
• I ask Google all the questions I’m too embarrassed to ask other people.
• Lazy Rule: Cant reach it. Don’t need it.
• Getting angry at people when we listen to them breathing or eating is called Misophonia, which is an actual brain disorder.
• Haven’t watched Seinfeld in years, yet I can quote every line.
• Instant relationship points:Next time you buy a card get a blank one and write the content of another card inside…. You’re welcome!

• When you’re walking then start texting and walk slower and slower and slower til you’re just standing there texting.
• I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
• ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ Waiting for my crush to stop playing games.
• Ever notice how guys socialize by insulting each other but we really don’t mean it …and girls socialize by complimenting each other and they don’t mean it either…?? LIKE or SHARE if you agree!
• If you have someone in your life who laughs at the same crap you do, no matter how messed up it is, they are your soul mate.
• I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
• Facebook has become the girlfriend you no longer like but are scared to dump because you’ve invested so much time in the relationship.
• A teen brain is 80% song lyrics.
• If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
• The world would be a much cleaner place if we just gave blind people brooms instead of canes.
• If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not really your friends.
• I’m in a long distance relationship. My significant other is in the future.
• In a relationship: Everyone likes you. Single: No one likes you.
• LIKE if you’re guilty…You wash your dishes before putting in the dishwasher.

 If you liked this post please share

Also feel free to leave your own statuses in the comments box.